Uncategorized, Writing

Leaves.

I was a tree in the winter season,
Missing its leaves.
Broken and ugly without you,
Wanting you back with me.
Summer time came again,
Hearing your voice on the phone after a week of silence.
Talking about change and promising to work things out.
The winter time finally ended and I stepped off the train and my leaves started to grow grow grow until my branches were covered from trunk to tip and I was beautiful again.
You held my hands and I had never been happier in all my life.
Later I realized that summer didn’t last forever.
The comforting sound of the leaves rustling in the summer breeze would die out and the harsh winter wind would make me shiver and miss the comfort that came with having your leaves.

All alone and bracing the bitter wind, the tree contemplated winter.
Months passed and she became harsh and ugly again.
The winter season seemed to be lasting longer than normal.
The tree cried bitter tears and began to hate winter.
She held anger and hurt in her heart and was mad at the summer season for not coming sooner.
She became so mad at summer that she began to blame him for the hurt and anger she felt inside.
She didn’t realize that every tree has to go through seasons, whether they like it or not.
She couldn’t enjoy the snow that gently drifted past her brances and took residence upon them.
She continued to be hurt and angry at summer until one day, she noticed that the leaves were just starting to grow again. “Just go away!” she shouted inwardly.
She wouldn’t let the leaves see that she had noticed them, even though she saw each and every one.
Weeks passed and the tree became so tired of hiding her true feelings.
And then, one day, she noticed the warmth of the summer sun and realized that she had forgotten just how much she had loved and missed summer.
“I’m sorry summer, I’m so sorry!” She cried.
She apologized to summer and immediatly thought of how long she had wasted wallowing away in bitterness.
After apologizing to the summer leaves, she felt happy once again.

Only, this time around, she knew that summer would leave her once again.
Seasons come and trees don’t get to decide when leaves should stay and when they should go.
Winter always has a purpose.

In the beginning, I thought you would last forever.
The first winter was short and I missed you so much and I was so happy when you came back.
The second winter was harsh, bitter, and lonely and seemed to go on and on and on until I just couldn’t bare the cold any longer. My branches were so bare and ugly and bitter.

I am now a tree in the spring time. I am caught in between the summer and winter seasons. Elation and sadness.

The leaves are starting to grow again, only, the tree has become guarded because she knows that the leaves will never last forever.
They come and go, season by season.
You were one of the happiest seasons of my life.
You comforted me and made me beautiful and together we were perfect.
Then came the fall breeze that gently plucked the leaves off the tree one by one and changed things forever.
I know that there will be more seasons in my life.
Most of them, more than likely, not involving you.
I am a tree that is becoming used to the changing of the seasons.
A tree that now understands that in life, seasons will always be there.
Some bring joy, some pain, and some promise.
I am a tree in the spring time waiting for my new set of leaves.
Guarded against falling in love, wanting to love again,
And reminiscing on summers past.

Thank you for the wonderful summer seasons that you have been to me.
I hope the next seasons in your life bring you happiness and joy, like you gave me.
Thank you for your leaves.


I was driving down the road today, and the lyrics from a song I have heard multiple times jumped out at me.

“You are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need.” 

Wow. Immediately, this piece I had written over two years ago came to my mind. I wrote this sitting in my car, junior year of college, after a long day at work. It had been months since my boyfriend and I had broken up, and needless to say, the relationship didn’t “end well,” to put it lightly. I was bitter for months. The saying “Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” had never been more fitting in a situation. I remember wishing I could erase the past two years of my life. The good memories, the bad memories, everything. I wanted them gone.

It was almost four months to the day that we broke up that it finally dawned on me that I didn’t want to live with resentment for even one more day. I remember feeling the weight lift. I could actually feel the smile on my face. I almost floated up the steps to my dorm room that day.

It was only a few days later that I wrote “Leaves.”  It was all suddenly clear to me. Winter always has a purpose. As much as I wanted to erase the past, it would always be there. I had a choice. I could either try and push it to the back of my mind, never to be thought of again, or I could reminisce on the good times, and learn a valuable lesson from the “winter seasons.” Everything happens for a reason. That relationship changed me for the better, even though I couldn’t see it at the time. I can now look back at it and be thankful for that season in my life.

I am a tree in the spring time waiting for my new set of leaves.
Guarded against falling in love, wanting to love again,
And reminiscing on summers past.

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